Sunday, February 17, 2008
Recently i'm quite down. Due to certain things that happened and the kinda disappointment I face time and again. But it's okay. I told myself that I gotta keep myself going. I must jiayou. ENDURE FELICIA! aizai.
JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE! PUSSSSSSHHHH! GO GO GO!!!! STEADY POM BI BI. HEH HEH.
Just a little update. My life hasnt been really good. In a way I felt so stress and pekcek over certain things. And its really those little things that makes me so frustrated. Rah. To begin the week with an accusation by that woman at home is really sucha turn off. Like seriously. Super dumb and lame loh. -.- what happened was I was actually out having lunch over at my house nearby the coffee shop. And while eating I received 3 straight calls from just that woman. -rolls eye- first she called to ask if ive seen her pi pa gao around. I said no, I didnt touch it since the last time you allowed me to. (and I actually ask for permission before I take or consume anything that belongs to her) so I told her to check with my dad if he'd take it, drink it or seen it around. After that she called again the second time and said my dad didnt drink or see it around. So I asked if her husband has drink it or something. And she was so defensive and said no. so I was like erm.. ok loh. Cannot be my house got ghost or anyone that takes it without asking or whatever. So being the typical me with my damn clear conscious I said no I didnt take, drink or see it around. (nicely) and she started screaming scolding blaming and accusing me based on her ASSUMPTION. Like so nehneh la. Wapiang. Tell you how many times you dont understand is it? Tsk. And at that point of time when I was telling her all these I was still okay until after her ranting I said.. fine la if thats what you wanna think thats nothing I can do or say since I already told you the truth and you insist. I so pissed until I say aiya ok la. Next time anytink bad happens or anytink lost in future all BLAME IT ON ME, MY FAULT OK. -.-” and she continued blaberring. Whatever la. Then I just listen loh I damn tired of explaining already. Then after that, she happy already cause I was her guinea pig to hear her complaining. She hang up. She called the third time and I was like whatttttttttttttttt. (in a very nice way loh. ROARS) she said oh I found it already. -giggles- and I was like uhhhh. -rolls eye- then she said oh ok byebye. This is just the first accusation.
Sometime this week, my dad called my cousin to complain about me using the house phone on one particular night till quite late. But it was only for awhile cause I started using the phone quite late also and it was around the time when my dad came home. So actually I was calling all my contacts to inform them about the upcoming MCG and stuff. And immediately the next day, sway sway the house phone bill is here. Tada. Its 300+ if im not wrong. Ya so I was accused yet again for using the phone for just that tiny little while. Like how funny? How can a few calls of mine actually adds up to 300+? plus if you were to know me well enough I dont use the phone very often and I pay my handphone bills myself. So it explains why at times im kinda bugget and all. My point is all along and all this while that woman was the one whos using the phone all day long. Every single day without fail. Outta 10 times 8 times I come home everyday she'd be on the phone. See how irritating this is? I told myself not to get pekcek or brood over this. But deep within me I really feel damn screwed. Sad. Disappointed. Accused to the core. I can feel the tears was just there. But I kept it all within me. I prayed about it. Cause I know theres nothing else that I could do to make me feel better other than praying. I submit all to God. I told God all about it. I asked him how and not why. And it just goes on.
Third thing that happened was my irritating sister who never fails to piss me off, irritate, and get me into trouble. Never and I mean it. Sigh. -shake head- every weekend we are supposed to take turns to help out my dad at work in the market. We've agreed on her taking every sat me taking every sunday. And so this week she didnt come home and so that means she definitely wont be going to work the next day. My dad asked me to replace her on friday midnight I was like wth? Super last minute. And I detest it. Like seriously. But I thank God that even on that day I didnt replace her I didnt get scolded or screwed by my dad which I normally would cause of this favoritism that my dad has towards my sister. And to me is like haiya, im always the one whos at the losing end. As compared to my sister. The luxury she gets and the good life she can enjoy. But matter aside, my point is at least she make it a point to AT LEAST inform me in advance so I can make pre arrangement so I can cover her BUT she didnt so I just cant cancel off my plans so last minute-ly.
I had a dream that my exams are over and that ive got really good results. Like 4 gpa again. Haha. So weird and funny right. Of course I really hope that this will come to past and ill be able to get good good results again. :D and I was so happy that the first person I shared my joy with was my cousin. It makes me feel so happy and overjoyed. =) but after I woke up I felt really stress, pressurize and scared. I was so overwhelmed by my nervousness. That kinda feeling sucks. But im not gonna based or rely on how I feel but what God can do in my life in the midst of all this that im going through and feeling. Hallelujah!
Im going to start working soon. Probably every tuesday and sunday. So yeah. Means it would be earning some extra pocket money for myself and learning to cope with both work, studies and church commitment.
Anyway through all this shit thats happening and going through in my life, I know it happens for a reason. Cause God wouldnt allow something to happen without his consent. I may not understand or know the reasons as to why im going through all these, but im sure I would one day. Its just a matter of time. I'll trust in Him and wait for his timing. Not mine. Whatever I sow, I reap. I know that the results is gonna be great. So im gonna hang on, press on and not give up.
Isaiah 40:31
I will wait upon the Lord and my strength will be renewed.
Romans 8:37
I am more than a conqueror
Phil 4:19
All of my needs shall be met.
Psalm 60:12
With God I have the victory.
Matthew 16:19
Whatever I bind on earth will be bound in heaven.
Matthew 19:21
I have treasures stored up in heaven.
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
God has taught me to be contented with my simple, ordinary and short life. He has shown me the way to life. To lead my life to be fullest doesnt necessary have to be one thats very materialistic and all. Being happy and contented with just small little things is what im learning to live with now. Im thankful to God in every situation He has placed me in and put me through. All in all,
Our God is an awesome God; He reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power, and love. Our God is an awesome God!
Im blessed to be living my life as it is right now. Thank you Jesus.
My exams are nearing. Just one more month and thats it. Ive to prove my understanding and knowledge for this big exams. I really pray I can do well and be a salt and light to the people around me so that I can be a testimony to many. Hallelujah. All that I want is not for my own credit but to honour and glorify God. Bless me. It shall be done. =) AMEN. :)
Do keep me in prayer. My exams are from 10-13 March. Camp is here. YAY!
